This time of year holds a lot of opportunity for joy, thanksgiving, and generosity. But it also brings pressures unlike any other season.

Additional traffic, colder weather, longer lines, and larger crowds. And even when you’re shopping online, there’s the pressure to make sure you’ve thought of everyone, and the stress of wondering whether the gifts will arrive on time or if there will be enough money after the new year to pay for it all.

Or it may bring heartache due to past experiences, losses, unfulfilled desires, or loneliness.

While this is a season of celebration, it’s also a season with plenty of opportunity for complaints.

What comes out reveals your focus.

Complaining isn’t just something we say. It reveals focus.

Whatever you complain about is what your attention has settled on. And attention is powerful. It’s not neutral.

There’s a basic cause-and-effect principle at work here.

What’s happening inside you drives what shows up outside.

Your inner world sets the direction, and life follows that direction.

What you tend to focus on grows larger in your perception.

That’s why focus matters so much.

Think of this process like a trail in the woods. Walk it once, nothing much happens. Walk it every day, and it becomes the easiest path.

Complaining works the same way.

Every time you rehearse a negative thought, you deepen that neural pathway.

Eventually, your mind doesn’t choose negativity; it defaults to it. That’s a mental loop.

And those loops affect real life.

Complaining reveals that your attention is tuned into what’s wrong. Consistent tuning in to that channel puts your nervous system on edge, which feeds anxiety, more worry, more tension, more mental noise.

Complaining Feeds Depression.

When your focus stays locked on problems and lack, it becomes harder to notice what’s good.

Joy narrows.
Hope fades.
Life feels heavier than it actually is.

The spiritual principle:

The measure of THOUGHT AND STUDY you give to what you hear will be the measure that comes back to you, and more besides will be given to you.
— Mark 4:24 AMPC

Pay Attention

Most people don’t notice what’s happening in their heads. They just react. A thought comes in, an emotion fires, words come out. No pause. No direction.

They’re like little Billy on his horse. They never take the reins to guide their thoughts and live a random life because they allow their minds to go wherever they want. They’re not steering. They’re not taking control of their thoughts.

Heck! They’re not even aware of their thoughts.

True Intelligence

Most people think being smart is about IQ, logic, or how fast one can think.

But some neurologists and psychologists believe the highest measure of intelligence is metacognition.

Don’t let the word throw you off. It is simply the ability to observe, question, and guide one’s own thoughts, rather than running on mental autopilot.

It means you notice your thoughts.

You’re not reacting blindly.
You’re not living on autopilot.
You’re observing what’s happening inside you in real time.

And the moment you observe a thought instead of obeying it, your brain starts to change.

Old habits loosen.
Emotions calm down.
Choices open up.

These scientists have found that this awareness calms emotional reactions, weakens impulsive patterns, and allows beliefs and memories to be rewritten.

This is not a motivational talk; it is a measurable neurological process.

But most people never develop this skill because it’s uncomfortable. It requires pausing rather than reacting, questioning rather than defending, and taking responsibility for one’s inner life.

Training the Mind

In the early 1900s, Charles Haanel, a successful businessman, rose to prominence because of his correspondence course, The Master Key System. Through experience, Haanel determined that life was cause and effect. A person’s inner world (the heart) was the cause of outer circumstances, and purposeful thought and growing self-awareness allowed a person to impress the subconscious (the heart) and produce predictable outcomes in life.

He taught that there is a systematic approach to training the mind through self-awareness and consistent, disciplined, and directed thinking. Through this system, the heart can be changed to achieve health, wealth, and personal success.

If you’ve been following me for any length of time, this should not be a new concept.

After all, God created systems anyone can learn that will work to shape one’s life experience. Once these systems are learned, one can leverage them across any area of life to deliver consistent, high-quality results.

This Book of the Law shall not depart from your mouth, but you shall meditate on it day and night, so that you may be careful to do according to all that is written in it. For THEN you will prosper and succeed in all you do.
— Joshua 1:8 BSB

The moment you start noticing your thoughts instead of riding them, something changes. Emotions calm down. Old habits lose their grip. You can catch a thought, question it, and choose a better one.

That’s how life is actually designed to work.

Here’s the problem, though. Most people never take the reins.

People who grow and move forward do something different. They take the reins. They notice their thoughts. They steer them. They don’t let every passing idea decide their direction.

When you focus your thoughts purposefully and grow in self-awareness, those thoughts sink into the heart. Over time, life begins to respond differently, not by chance, but by design.

So the takeaway is simple:

If you want different results, don’t start by fighting and criticizing the outside world. Start by guiding what’s happening inside.

Merry Christmas.

Jayce

P.S. Here’s a tool that will aid you in directing your thoughts. I started utilizing this years ago when I was working in downtown Boston. During my daily commutes to and from work on buses and subways, I used this to change my thought patterns.

The Seed Packet
Here’s a tool that will aid you in directing your thoughts Read The Article
Guard your heart with all diligence, for from it flow springs of life.
— Proverbs 4:23 BSB

As a man thinks in his heart, so is he.
— Proverbs 23:7 BSB

Do not be conformed to this world, but be transformed by the renewing of your mind. Then you will be able to test and approve what is the good, pleasing, and perfect will of God.
— Romans 12:2 BSB

For the mind of the flesh is death, but the mind of the Spirit is life and peace.
— Romans 8:6 BSB

Finally, brothers, whatever is true, whatever is honorable, whatever is just, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is admirable—if anything is excellent or praiseworthy—think on these things.
— Philippians 4:8 BSB